True Confessions

hmpf

2012-02-20T23:22:00.003+08:00

been busy with exam and stuff

work?

haix

so tired

i have something to let go here

as something had happen recently

and i realised

does mean promote to supervisor, we can't sweep or mop the floor.

or do the little stuff that a staff supposed to do.

cannot clear table and etc.

if we short staff,supervisor also must help

yes we could command staff

but not too much

if we command too much

our staff will dislike us

for my example hai yan

she do things halfway one

ask people to help then disappear off do other things

i dont like people who bossy

ask people do this and do that

then never do anything

come on

does mean wear red does mean dont need do anything

let staff die

now got spy somemore

why ah?

everytime need report is it?

stupid ppl!

Finally

2012-02-08T16:46:00.003+08:00

Hello!

it been a long time the last time i update my blog

my first blog post of 2012?

i guess so.

how life been so far?

hmm

very stress!

yeah

very fvcking stress

being supervisor isn't easy

who say it was?

anyway, that's a lot of things need to do.

need to handle so many things

well, i know how temper is but i have been controlling it

its should be better

well my past temper was horrible

i can made a guy cry

but then i dont want to make anyone cry no more

however i do unintentionally hurt people feelings

well i didn't do it on purpose though

its my job

i have to do it

yeah

sometimes, i'm too lenient till people don't respect me

well, i don't give a damn though

maybe they still trying to adapt

when i still a staff, we're very close

so maybe they tend to be overlimit sometimes

sometimes i draw a line to it

there's always a limit to everything, right?

past few weeks, been getting call from em' asking to work more

but i really can't

i need to study for my exams and test

i dont want to be stuck in any module

i was fvcking depressed i told sir i can't work more than three days

and i need followed hours i gave

project and presentation done!

however, pdd

i'm no grp thanks to work

but i let lecturer to grp me with others

at least im not alone

i can't wait for internship

two mths though

nerve wrenching thinking about it

dennis wee pte ltd

i want to do well at intern so aft graduate, i want to continue working there

no more earles

no more fnb line

and of course!

DO WELL IN MY EXAM!!

TO SHOW THOSE BITCHES AND BASTARD,

I'M BETTER THAN EM'

hehe no offences

my baby?

well

going to 5 months

awesome!

yeah, that's time we quarreling and arguing

etc

but we always there for one another

no doubt

baby always pamper me

before these,

i dont need those pamper and mushy stuff

cos im independent

but sometimes it nice to have someone pamper you

and dependent on someone

baby!

hahaha

i love you!

oh ya

i forgot something

well, i want to say this

be faithful to ur partner

dont love a person due to sympathy

no worth it

love her/him with all her/his imperfection

like how she/ he love you

p/s: move on, forget the past

A promotion.

2011-12-11T13:19:00.002+08:00

Its been a long time, i have not update my true of words blog.

so many things happen, so lil time to have on it.

well will update the main high light only.

i just don't believe what im now.

A position that i thought i not worth for.

i don't deserve it.

Being supervisor, isn't task to handle.

a BIG responsible awaits me.

two days being in RED uniform,

my comment, my thoughts

i felt tired.

FREAKING TIRED

now i know how ma'am XY felt

haix

anyway, baby also been very tired.

baby's schedule been like mostly full shirt

i pitied baby.

tml my common test commerce.

all the best to me.

aft next week, i still have to deal with project

its seems that i cant wait to go intern instead

like wanting to end the semester faster.

so i can go genting.

before that i going USS AGAIN

for the second time.

i will bring baby before intern start, which is my third time

its okay

i love crazy rides

crazy like me.

woohoo

well been saving alots of money

need to keep for genting, USS, NEW LAPTOP

i think that's all for my wishing lists now.

done update

unspoken feelings

2011-11-14T22:53:00.002+08:00

another week of me being alone

like wtf right.

miss my syg so much

this few days i being so sarcastic to baby..

why?

just don't like my baby work far away from me.

anyway,

exact one more week

to my 2nd anniversary

and also my 19th birthday!

one year older.

yeah, there's more unspoken thought i want to blog about.

at least the person that i with now, does not hurt me badly as you did

you hurt me freaking bad!

you lost my trust that i had for you this months

you broke, not only one promise, countless.

i thought i the one who supposed to hate you for lifetime, but its the another way round.

well i guess, it's waste of energy to hate a person.

i just want to request from you a few things, just forget me, don't bother how my life goes on.

if i fall, even drastically, i will pick up myself.

and one more thing, no matter what my mom still treat you as one of her god children.

anything call her, don't sms her.

she's illiterate, remember?

done!

killing my time

2011-10-18T20:10:00.003+08:00

I dont know why my syg said there's something wrong w my phone

but i been waiting for my syg's msg from just now

my 2nd was not bad

my IS lecturer is one suria/channel 5 actress

she was damn cool

and..and..

she looks like my secondary school t'cher

Mdm Ernawati Shaffie

i asked her whether have any sister in teaching line

she said no

but the looks, the way she talk, walk

really alike

hahahaha

her name was rafida yusoff

hmmm

hahahaha

i love you syg

161 posts

2011-10-17T20:59:00.002+08:00

First day of school was so-so

met up my baby b4 baby went to work

yeah nothing to do now

watching breakout

very nice

i love the theme songs

well i learnt my chinese from all these dramas

i'm not expert but at least basic i know

i want to learn Cantonese

why cantonese?

i just the way it sound

its much gentle than hokkien sound

that's why i love watching HK dramas

i love when the chefs in my outlet speak cantonese

i just love the dialect

my baby jealous when Ah jie called me syg

hehehehe

baby don't jealous k baby.

anyway, tell em', its their attitude which make our service bad.

well, at least i earning money to support myself

i don't need my parent to give me money

i'm not jealous over your wealth

it's everyone fate be wealth or less fortunate.

so stfu

blog dead

2011-10-04T11:36:00.002+08:00

work?

it seem okay these days

tired, yes tired

what can i do?

when i work, i feel tired.

but i off days, yes i get my rest but bored lei.

well i watching breakout.

nice drama but too much killing.

scared sia

as if watching FD 5.

omg..

hahaha

i miss my syg.

my syg working, im at home resting.

it's not funny

2011-09-23T08:35:00.001+08:00

till when all this problem want to stop

sakit kepala aku

i felt sad

;(

i love you

2011-09-22T09:15:00.003+08:00

being relationship again, is another chance for me to be in love again

yes another people's happiness is another people's misery.

but this is life

this is reality

reality is harsh

but you have to accept in one way or other

i love you so much syg

i want you to be there for me every single mins

recent life?

2011-09-21T11:01:00.002+08:00

how's my life recently?

been alot happier now..

im so in love now..

eventhough a lot of shits going on in earle

i have to endure those shits lor

my syg gave a lot of motivation to endure those stupid things lor

***********

i miss the old good time though

*******************

jealousy kills you

2011-09-08T07:43:00.002+08:00

jangan sampai aku call

and confront kau

stop it seh kau punya perangai

kau jealous ke pe?!

aku punye psl aku nak rapat dengan siape aku nak.

kau apasal?!

if you talk about me, talk to my face.

bitch!

no life bitch.

holiday?

2011-09-07T09:07:00.003+08:00

holiday?

does not seem like holiday lor.

it been a tiring one.

it been alot of nonsense and changes at outlet.

that's why i want to resign

i don't care who going to read this

but seriously i can't take it anymore!

seriously, after that promotion took place

everything change

and it drastically changes after some of the people who gave motivation left

so what you are the superior

does not mean you right in every f**king way

really just shut up la.

if i can shut up for three hours, why can't you two just shut up for even one sec.

if i follow my heart, i scold the f**k off you.

irrits to the max sia

being fake

tak ingin kembali

2011-08-22T13:23:00.007+08:00

kau hadir dalam hidupku

mengisi ruang hatiku

ku sangka hanya kau untuk ku

dustamu berubah segalanya

aku tersingkir hina

kau melangkah disini ku merana

ternyata peri hatiku terasa

ku cuba nafas tanpamu

perjalanan penuh kerinduan

ku gagah hilang akan pergi

pasti perlu melupakan dirimu

segala keperitan ku tempuh dengan tabah

tak mungkin lagi aku menoleh

mengulangi sejarahku

tak ingin kembali

kau pernah membayangkan

melukis cinta silam

penuh embun pagi buta akan terulang

biarlah semuanya bersama cinta dustamu

ku berjaya hidup tanpa dirimu

perlahan ku terima kenyataan

ku terus nafas tanpamu

perjalanan penuh kerinduan

ku gagah hilang kan pergi

pasti perlu melupakan dirimu

segala keperitan ku tempuh dengan tabah

tak mungkin lagiku menoleh

mengulangi sejarahku

ku buang saja dengan mimpi-mimpi mu

ku tak rela mengulangi seksa batinku dahulu

oh pergi... ku tak ingin disisi

pergi la.. tak inginmu kembali

perjalanan penuh kerinduan

ku gagah hilang kan pergi

pasti perlu melupakan dirimu

segala keperitan ku tempuh dengan tabah

tak mungkin lagiku menoleh

mengulangi sejarahku

Addiction

2011-08-21T13:53:00.005+08:00

i addicted to these two songs

omg!

tetesan air cinta

tak ingin kembali by aidil revalina

if i can download, download already.

cannot find the songs seh.

both this songs represent something about my love life.

i really like both of it.

^^v

Tetesan Air Cinta - Fuad Rahman & Azrin

2011-08-21T09:30:00.002+08:00

Inikah balas cintamu kasihku

Dari dalamnya sayangku pada mu

Hingga teganya kau melukai

Kesungguhanku terhadap dirimu

Sandiwara apa yang kau mainkan

Hanya menambahkan kedukaan jiwa

Yang kau anggap cinta itu bukan cinta

Hanyalah gurauan yang pandai kau mainkan

Terbuai aku di sangkar madu

Manisnya cinta itu hanya semu

Di ibarat aku di padang tandus

Sendirian mengharapkan akan tetesan air cinta

Sudah puaskah kau menyakiti aku

Sudah puaskah kau melukai aku

Hingga ku kecewa

Sudah puaskah kau khianati aku

Sudah puaskah kau permainkan aku

Kini ku kecewa

random

2011-08-14T17:41:00.003+08:00

been a nice day today

worked 7am-3pm today

hehehe

not @ earle

but somewhere else

now slacking

waiting to break fast

haix

woah

they really can find me

thought they will forgotten abt me

well that's was a bit nightmare for me

yeah

Jom tengok movie

2011-08-12T12:30:00.003+08:00

i found a blog where i watch malay movie that i wanted to watch

"sekali lagi"

was nice and very sad

however, a happy ending!

watching KL gangster

like what they said on FB

baiiiiiiikkkkkk punye!

mantap!

syamsul yusuf haslam

another AWESOME movie

can't watch more movie from him

like father like son

sincerity

2011-07-27T13:33:00.003+08:00

so many things in my mind.

i still thinking whether i should give back stuff that should not mine

and those things that have some past

i think i should

anyway

i should settle something

since fasting month coming

i don't want to hold more sin of not settle the thing

anyway been re-blog more that update status and my blog

i addicted to it

the more i told not to miss you, i miss you even more

a talk about feelings

2011-07-26T00:40:00.004+08:00

I used to be a person

who fall people easy over a lil kindness

not anymore

i fell for a guy

about two or three months ago

i confessed to him

even though i knew his heart was hurt by girls

his heart sealed, no one can open it

to me,

i understand his hurt

what he went thru, maybe i have already gone thru too

even though in different circumstances

however, it been almost a month,

i didn't text him

maybe i too busy with other things

whatever i wanted to text, i have this feeling

"why you bother about this guy? have a life babe!"

i don't know why.

but i just care for him

but slowly, gradually i losing the feeling

i feel, like as if it okay, of not loving a guy.

but its good that i been like very "guai"

not to fall for others when i alr confessed

maybe its just crush

who's know anyway.

actually have something else in mind

this things bother me so much

aku tak benci kau

tapi aku tak suke kau

kau telah hancurkan jiwa dan raguku!

you have destroy every single soul of mine!

perasaan dan hati aku

kau telah main dan hancurkan segalanya!

okay that's was so drama.

hee~

i'm not living in the past.

hopefully i don't.

because i don't want to.

i have moved on, even though its a struggle.

i will make thou.

sad moment

2011-07-23T02:43:00.002+08:00

my sis in law really making me cry

not because of her bullying me or whatsoever

her blog posts make me cried even worst

i miss my brother very much

other people won't understand what i going through now

"God pls make strong. i don't want to be like this everyday. give me strength to live this life. give me some hope that everything going to be fine."

random

2011-07-22T22:10:00.003+08:00

it's been a while

it been hectic weeks

project

problem

work

been home to home

been stressful period for me

well things been worst since MAY this year

one after another

three months already

no luck

no beam of happiness

it's okay

i'm strong

no one know what go thru my mind and heart

last Monday

fell sick after so many months

then came Wednesday something bad happened

yeah

i don't know how much longer i can take this things going

at least no more disturbing from someone

guess that someone find other people to disturb liao

i don't want to live in the past

sometimes i miss being loved by someone

but sometimes it's better this way

maybe i should single for a life time

i don't know

truth are to be hurt

2011-07-16T11:21:00.002+08:00

my mom found about the thing

she was like so sad and upset about me and sis in law kept her in the dark

but both of us have no choice

the truth hurt, Umi.

thanks to Yvonne give me advised thru this hard time

i still dwell on it.

cos i know it not easy for me to just let news pass by me

sigh

anyway ytd have fun

went to wisma

fixed spiro

yeah spiro spoilt again

ishh

how many times does this spiro want to be spoilt?

then went walk2 arnd orchard

then zhaolong called me asking whether i eat alr..of course no lor

we met up a while

then we at food opera or smtg

don't remember la

then waited for HL and ANIP

aft zhao long and his friend went off

awhile waiting went to somerset

walk2

then met em' ate KFC

i only ate whipped potato

then walked to cineleisure

anip bought anklet for us

awwwww~

so sweet

hope it bless our friendship till end of our life

then went somewhr up the building..

which have f nice scenery

it would make good plc for me to emo

don't go ECP le

just go there can liao

hahahaha

i done :)

bad news

2011-07-14T01:37:00.002+08:00

no wonder i have this bad feelings since morning.

this piece of news

really hit me

8 weeks = 2 months

wtf!

i don't know what am i going to do

it's like so sudden

the person who should have the worst feelings

should be my sis in law

i'm really pitied her

i don't know what to tell to my mom

2 months isn't short

some more fasting month coming

then hari raya

omg

i don't know how am i going to survive

i regretted i didn't bought the chocolate melts for him

i really regret

"along, no matter what, i will still keep my promise to you. i will take care of umi. i will study hard. along don't worry about us okay."

i can't stop thinking of it.

i don't want cried about it.

give me strength

make me strong please

begging you :(

sick

2011-07-10T21:16:00.001+08:00

argh!!!!

freaking hate being sick...

immune system freaking down now!!!

2011-07-07T13:39:00.001+08:00

uss was okay :)

so far so good btwn me and her

guess so.

don't worry you still have me.

ytd?

outing?

okay la.

i was like a drunkard

as usual

hahahaha

it's been my trademark ma

let's get it straight

every human do have their mistakes

every one no perfect

but you don't have the right to judge a person

cause they know em'selves better than you

i know people will ask me whether i alright or not

well, i don't like to malign people

and vice versa

you have something to say, tell straight to face

i used to say to people face but it lead to so much troubled

i don't mind if you say to my face but i knew you won't mind to i speak my mind

cause i know my words are f*cking harsh and can hurt anyone's feelings

well i don't like people who only listen to one sided story then assume that they knew every single things

i don't f*cking care anymore

i will be alright

say hello to goodbye

2011-07-04T01:50:00.004+08:00

being single isn't that bad

i didn't say being in relationship bad

it's just need chemistry

personality does play a part

trust is the most important thing

promises are meant to kept, not be broken

hmmmm

that's what i learnt in my past relationship

there's a lot actually

well..

me? in relationship again?

tell you frankly

a month ago

told a guy that i like him

liking a person is not the same as loving that person

i just like him, but i don't love

why?

maybe...cause...i afraid to fall in love again??

or...i afraid of falling in love with wrong guy again??

or...i afraid of getting hurt???

or...i afraid of history being repeated again???

say hello to goodbye

sang shontelle

it's been my all time fav. song marked the date of 1st may 2011

Hey there stranger, how you been
Feels like I'm standing on the outside looking in
At the mess we left behind
And it's a long way to fall
I gave you everything I had (i did)
I gave it all
And then my heart was on the line

I can't hate you
Any longer
I know I'm going to miss you ( may be a lil)
I'll forget it and let it go.

Say hello to goodbye, cause it's gone forever
No more try, you and I
Not now, not ever
And I'll get by without you
I'm not going back again
I'm not going to lie to you
Cause, that was there and only then.

( it's true, i'm not going back to you. twice, it's enough,and i don't deserve)

Say hello to goodbye
Say hello...

And this is how it has to be
Cause it's a deadly combination, you and me
You know it's undeniable
Even though we tried it all
We brought the worst out in each other
I recall
We can't act it anymore

What doesn't kill you
It makes you stronger
And though I'm going to miss you
I'll forget it and let you go

Say hello to good-bye

It's gone forever
No more try, you and I
Not now, not ever
And I'll get by without you
I'm not going back again
I'm not going to lie to you
Cause, that was there and only then.

Say hello to goodbye
Say hello...

And even though the tears will dry
I can't completely disconnect
Couldn't make the compromise
Didn't have a safety net

Say hello to goodbye
Heeey ya ya

Say hello, goodbye

byezzzzzzzzzz

zai jian

woooohoooooooooo~

2011-07-01T22:45:00.002+08:00

let's start

with something not really interesting

hmm

these days

when doing closing

we would like have four man on the floor to do closing

we, like struggling to move our body, legs and hands to do work

but wednesday

did dishwasher

i was like slow and steady do my dishwasher

hahahahaha XD

did my enrollment for my license

a lil blur

well, i will be good after some browse thru the booklet they give me

felt excited

i booked my first lesson on 19th july

i can't wait!!!

weeeee~

well

went to al-azhar

with ma'am fiona, sir Dan, Atiqah K. and of course my dear HL

ate till full

it's nice days

my nice off days

tml will another day

tml will be a lil secretive

when i free i update about tml

ta.ta

Bruno Mars - Grenade [Official Music Video]

2011-07-01T22:29:00.000+08:00

Easy come, easy go
That's just how you live, oh
Take, take, take it all,
But you never give
Should of known you was trouble from the first kiss,
Why were they open?
Gave you all I had
And you tossed it in the trash
You tossed it in the trash, you did
To give me all your love is all I ever asked,
Cause what you don't understand is
I’d catch a grenade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Throw my hand on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I’d jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah , yeah)
You know I'd do anything for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Oh, oh
I would go through all this pain,
Take a bullet straight through my brain,
Yes, I would die for ya baby;
But you won't do the same

No, no, no, no
Black, black, black and blue beat me till I'm numb
Tell the devil I said “hey” when you get back to where you're from
Mad man, bad man,
That's just what you are, yeah,
You’ll smile in my face then rip the breaks out my car
Gave you all I had
And you tossed it in the trash

You tossed it in the trash, yes you did
To give me all your love is all I ever asked
Cause what you don't understand is
I’d catch a grenade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Throw my hand on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I’d jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah , yeah)
You know I'd do anything for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Oh, oh
I would go through all this pain,
Take a bullet straight through my brain,
Yes, I would die for ya baby;
But you won't do the same

If my body was on fire, ooh
You’ d watch me burn down in flames
You said you loved me you're a liar
Cause you never, ever, ever did baby...
But darling I’ll still catch a grenade for ya
Throw my hand on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I’d jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah , yeah)
You know I'd do anything for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Oh, oh
I would go through all this pain,
Take a bullet straight through my brain,
Yes, I would die for ya baby;
But you won't do the same.
No, you won’t do the same,
You wouldn’t do the same,
Ooh, you’ll never do the same,
No, no, no, no

Sekali Lagi - Spoon

2011-07-01T16:58:00.001+08:00

01/5/2011

01/7/2011

exact 2 months

how am i feeling?

truly very empty

after that date

everything

slowly every single thing in my life

that i been grasping on

slowly i lose it

from relationship to precious friendship

slowly break into pieces

people thought i happier now

they just assuming

but don't know the truth

even though things happen

hurt me a lot

i just slow let it go

without any hatred

without any revenge

i just hope that let my life disappear from your life

just forget me

don't have any vengeance in heart

don't bear any grudges

forget every single things

as i don't worth anything care, concern or sympathy from anyone

Revalina-Ceritaku

2011-06-30T10:14:00.001+08:00

well went thru my mp3 songs list

and found this song

i find it very meaningful

it's very true

it's hard to forget your past relationship but life have to go on..

read lyric

very meaningful

starting to be bitchy again..

2011-06-27T23:52:00.002+08:00

it's been a while i being bitchy

well, i been keep quiet lately

not updating about the things being in my heart

well that one maybe too confidential

but i'm mentally prepare to settle it soon...

however, there one thing that make me fvcking piss off ah

i'm just don't like lazy people

even since i started work at age 15, i really dislike this type of people

everywhere i go, confirm got this type of people

and usually these lazy people are fvcking spoilt, self centered, fvcking perfectionists.

it's okay to ask people for help.

once in the while can la

but if everytime you ask for help

then the person help you every single fvcking time

and end up you doing nothing

it's show you are fvcking lazy and just want to use people's kindness

it's too much

it's also too much if a person help you

and the person ask you for help in return

but you giving em' excuse that you can't help

it's show you are being ungrateful

a person won't be piss off if you didn't start to piss the person off.

confirm you did something wrong to make the person off

these lazy people don't understand the true hardship

that's why

they take things for granted

anyway being lazy won't bring good to life

if you are lazy in every single

you won't achieve any effort that satisfy ur wants and needs in life..

well, that's all folks..

formspring.me

2011-06-23T21:35:00.001+08:00

spill ya' thinking! http://formspring.me/lilmissylove

Love Or Hate ?

2011-06-23T21:33:00.001+08:00

love :)

spill ya' thinking!

sentence

2011-06-12T10:52:00.002+08:00

"i don't need such distraction"

"i'm not bothered being alone"

remember this two sentence?

yeah i will always do.

actually this two sentence really make me realize certain things

i don't certain thing to distract me

like getting in love and etc

i just want to happy by the end of the day

not bothered alone?

oh yeah i don't if people want to be happy with me or not

so i don't bother if people like not being there for me

it's okay

i learnt how to be alone

so i don't give a damn whatsoever

random

2011-06-10T13:44:00.002+08:00

need to update and make it a secret diary

my room still in the mess

maybe will not go ECP

roller blade in Jurong then

tired

2011-06-10T01:11:00.000+08:00

mentally and physical tired

brain dead

tml we will at ECP alone

blading alone tml

syakilah's 130th

2011-06-08T07:10:00.002+08:00

early in the morning wide awake

sleep early yesterday

think all about it already

i take my life far away from everything

but not away from reality

it's still be in reality

just far away from every single things

understand?

guilt of overspending

2011-06-07T07:31:00.002+08:00

This month pay

i thought i can change my phone

but..

no words to say

i didn't change my phone instead i bought 'necessaries'

do u know that i spent about $55 at Etude house

wow!

yeah i did

but got discount mah

and lifetime membership

yeah

Etude house member!

hehehehe

i'm sorry

i know i spent a lot this month

but i still have savings

yeah

i need to work hard

going to register my license end of this month

i don't care anymore

last time

when i want to license

that's always a person keep making not to take license now

but i motivated now by people around as they already got their license

it's time for me to buck up and get the goal

end of next year at least one of my desires license, i will manage to get it.

done!

my early thoughts

2011-06-07T07:25:00.002+08:00

"forget it Syakilah"

"Really forget it"

that's was my thoughts

early in the morning

no! its my thoughts b4 i went to sleep

yeah forget it.

every single thing that you want to make it right.

127 posts

2011-06-06T21:12:00.002+08:00

suddenly like want to blog

so here i'm

see told you laptop make me distract from my study

but i'm promise at 10pm

will smack REL book in front of face

lucky me PVL

is open book

but not REL

sheesh

nvm

finished this two module

then i off from school for two weeks

but not project and work

how i wish i can slack at home without thinking about anything?

if i asked someone, confirm the replied nah! you wished

yeah memorize all the lines

hahahaha

it's okay part and parcel of life anyway

really miss my lappy

2011-06-06T15:08:00.002+08:00

these days went to along house and sleepover

without laptop

maybe i just don't any distraction ba

i didn't text people this days

maybe being alone

is good for health and mentally

so won't like have so many bull shits happen

anyway re-bond my hair

so it's does makes me look messy

it's much better

going to keep my hair long

no more snipping

now keep quiet

is better than that before

i rather be like this

than having a lot conflicts between human beings

tiring you know

waste time and energy

well i love this way

i didn't know being like can be so much peace

even though it's does give much ease at heart

but it's better this way

mp3

2011-06-03T12:27:00.002+08:00

i was like listening to my mp3

this songs called harapan, really made me thinked what happened a month ago.

doaku agar kau kan selalu bahagia

agar kau temui insan tulus menyanyangimu

lepaskanlan diriku kerna keredhaanmu

bukan kerna dendam jua kerna kau terpaska

ku tinggal kan memori bersamamu

ku undur diri bersama harapan

tidak kesampaian cinta kita

ku bawa harapan ku pendam rahsia

ku di kejauhan mendoakan

agar kau bahagia tiada lagi duka

daku rela mengundur diri

ku pasti dikau fahami

tiada penyesalan kasihku korbankan

andai telah tertulis ku terima ini bukannya ku pinta

oh pergilah dikau diiringi keikhlasanku

cuma pengalaman mengisi kekosongan mimpiku

it's could be for two person

one for my ex

one for the guy

this song really make me feel very sad

however what had happen, already happen

we can't change the fact

okay

update later.

month full of nonsense

2011-06-01T08:35:00.003+08:00

yeah may gone

its full of bullshits and nonsense

why?

break up

argument

quarrel

silent treatment

emotional

hurt

its hurt a lot more than having sweet memories

my friendship with her was brink of break up

but ma'am shakilah kept asking to like you save the friendship

yeah i will..today..

even though i don't know what to talk to her

but i'll try my very best

today mark 1 month of me being single

haix

that's i don't know

and i don't want to know

and i don't care

well since everything over, i think i should said his name out

but why suddenly i feel troubled if i said out his name here?

maybe not yet ba

let put his initial only

Mr F

not faisal

have the same initial

but its not him

maybe his heart is not yet open any girls

he's just get many hurt from us the girls

but i didn't do anything to hurt him

just told him i like you

that's all

but he said that he not bothered being alone. he tired of girls.

sidetrack a bit ah

he's got sister lei how can he get tired of girls?

okay i sound like f*cking bitch

so back to my story

i thanked him for making understand that message

even though it hurt (its really hurt me a lot, even i want to cry but i can't cos shakilah and sameem was there so i tried to suck up everything)

truth are meant to be hurt

we still can be friends

(i don't know if i can face him at school)

he apologized and told me that he got hurt really bad many times

but so do i

but i face it strongly

i also scared of getting hurt but i risked my life just to get again and again

which i find myself stupid

well all i need now is to get back to square 1

where every thing is okay

nothing is wrong

i will make this June a month of redemption

just friends and family, not to forget studies

no love involve

these things are the thing that i have to concentrate on

if i go haywire this month, please someone smack this reminder on my head

to mr F i will miss you a lot.

thanks for being there for me during this month of bullshit

ily

truth

2011-06-01T03:30:00.001+08:00

thank you for making me understand it

truth are meant to be hurt

so be it

hurt are human's biggest enemy

you tell me who want to be hurt in this world

you think fun is it to be hurt

similar guy to faisal?

2011-05-31T07:20:00.004+08:00

still remembered about write post about faisal?

the post saying is there any guy that similar to faisal?

i say no similar guy will be as the same as faisal

but a nice guy like faisal, i think i find him already.

his name for now i can't say it out now.

he's 5 years older than me

age doesn't bring down a friendship

that's does not come across my mind

he return back to school when he stopped at.

same school as me,was surprised to see him there for the very first time.

but i got remembered that he got said he want to return to school, i thought he was joking..

he's a rider

once,i got to ride his bike

still okay la..

he's ride safely when he's with me

even though i was like scared and saying omg i going to die..

but still alive here..

andrew said he's a quiet guy

yeah it's truth

he,himself admitted it

that he doesn't talk much

then i think, a guy should be like that but however at same time he should be as quiet as a mouse every time.

he's good listener

i always complaint things to him

sometimes i feel bad about it

but every time i complained to him, he always trying to comfort me w/o realising it.

really..

even though we like only once date ( i don't know how to say thing)

he's sweet guy

cute,funny at times

he's gentleman

i can't forget how this friendship started,

first time i saw him, i was like why this guy look like a drug addict

always with his fatherly looks

i didn't he's like single,not married.

i asked yvonne, he's married is it?

yvonne said he's not, i was shocked..

maybe the appearance ba.

then he's give this stare, which i don't like people to stare at me.

i looked at him, said what?

he's straight shook his head and looked away.

that's was my first impression of him.

i really don't like him at first

then got one time, i don't who i talking with,in malay, he's was like shocked i can speak malay. i think he told nazry ba,dont remembered who..

wah, she's a malay ?

i was like huh? yeah i'm ah( inside my heart i was like i a mixed lah)

he should know ba..

then from there we start talking

he still can lied about his age

lol

i'm not stupid okay,yvonne tell me what his age..lol

but one thing i didnt asked was his name

funny right..

hahahaha

i asked yvonne what's his name

she told me

i was like ohhh that's his name.

i didn't thought we will like talk ah.

but no much talking

cos i was like still attached back then

he's got saw my ex bf b4,and my ex also got saw him b4

after cny, i was like busy working and schooling

so no time go down YH

to see em, i mean the riders ah..

after my break up,

he's chat with on facebook

the convo was so funny,till today i can't for get it

how i can his num,and etc

i won't forget that he's fetch me from work

i was like aww so sweet..

i told yvonne,and my close friends, that we're just friends

but they keep saying i like him

but i keep saying no,i don't.

my classmate,one day,make me realizing my true feelings,

she said "i think you like him, cause you kept talking about him"

then i was like yeah, why i kept talking about him?

maybe what she said is true..that i like him?

well its took me a while to think about it..

at last i admit it, i do like him..

not a bit but a lot.

well i done with my part telling him that i like him.

all is up to him..

how can a girl be as dare like that to tell a guy that she like him?

some more ask him out.

okay lah just like it the way it is now...

wtf!

2011-05-31T01:43:00.003+08:00

maybe i should forget about our problem

and just let it be

maybe we are not fated to be friends anymore.

not talking about him

since one of us don't bother to said sorry and said it's my mistakes,

this fucking problem will not end.

up to u ah!

part 2

2011-05-30T21:55:00.002+08:00

its took him one hour plus to reply my text

i thought he won't reply

so i thinking of going to sleep then

with a light heart and soul

cause i have let out the truth

when i was at my bro's house

i was telling my sis in law about the confession thing

my heart kept telling me that my phone got messages

of course got lah

i was like messages a lot of people

so i went to the living room

and i saw his message

he said

told you that i would known. have you wonder why i was dismiss from school last time?

i was like

omg! he knows all the long

oh my!

but the qns...

of course i know why..

cos ma'am shakilah got tell me

that he always kena cheating by girls

so i replied him

girls' problem?

he said yes.

i was like

c'mon ________

i'm not rushing lah syg

i told him

i'm not like em'

then his reply was

i don't need such distraction. em' is many many girls before i've met you

okay this part a bit lost

don't understand

distraction?

mean what?

me=distraction?

or what?

the second sentence make me wondered even more

is it a good thing or bad thing?

hmmm...

is it a good thing that you met me?

argh confusing

then i asked him,

meaning?

i listened to my sis in law to sent another message

that i'm rushing

just to confessed

and so on.

then his replied make me more don't understand

meaning i can sense trouble if anything happen

what trouble?!

irrits sia when i can't understand the messages is..

then i said u making me confused

then he gave up and said he want to sleep

of course i would let go to sleep

cause i don't him tire himself out

i told him its really from bottom my heart

he said yes.. i appreciate it

i was smiling ear to ear

thank you dear!

anyway, my dear mr XXXXXX

whatever happen, what trouble will come i will fight it

i just like you

really!

nothing wrong of liking a person dear

don't always think of your past hurt

not only you have it

so do i

but i learned to let it heal up all by itself

even though the process is not fast enough

but i just want to be happy

so i forget all the hurt

deleted it in fact

so my dear can you please delete it too?

i'm not that kind of girl that need gift or money just to get love

i'm just need you to be there for me

listen my daily life story

listen to my problem instead of giving me headache

i don't care if you can't comfort me

but actually you comforting me w/o realizing it

all your care and concern which make me fall for you in fact

you actually sweet person

but you love making me worried about you..

always tire yourself with work and school

hopefully you won't get sick my dear

i sound like a mother more than a friend now -.-

done w part II

hopefully friday got good news!

admit it already 1

2011-05-30T11:13:00.002+08:00

i confessed to him

that i like him..

this how it happen..

29/05/2011

22:06

i texted him saying can i asked

can i asked u one question?

then he said ask

b4 i asked i say to him

this qns must be open minded

then he said go ahead

then i asked

what will be his reaction if a person tell him that she like you?

then he said he could tell

then i was like huh?

he repeated himself

he would have known

then i was like omg this guy..

my heartbeat fast that time..i was like inside thinking should tell him or not

but i gamble and told him

i wanted to tell you something but hopefully u don't be surprised with what i want to say

so i told him

this is my first time confess to a guy (cos my ex boyfriends always e one who confessed to me

i been searching for this courage to tell you this

actually, i like you

i like you with all your imperfection

i sincerely like from bottom of my heart

that's all i want to tell you..

okay i end here first

part 2

later okay

pretend

2011-05-29T02:18:00.002+08:00

well didn't get to go holidays liao.

stop pretend everything is okay.

stop it ah.

you just don't understand how it is feel alone.

i don't want to talk about anything now!

我一个人了。我注定要孤独，直到永远。没有人会站在我身边。朋友跑到离我的生活，使我感到孤独，直到永远。我想这一切。上帝要我独自一人在我身边没有任何人的立场。又有人站在你一边，但我没有。你不会了解它的感觉是没有人支持你了自己所有。至少你有表妹，你的父母，你的其他朋友来听你的问题，但我不甚至一个人听见。

sad-ded

2011-05-28T08:45:00.002+08:00

when you reply me, i feel the most happiest girl.

i forget all painful stuff that going on.

why i have yo go thru this shit?

she need to be alone

okay fine

since that you want, i give it to you.

why i always sacrifice my own feelings just for others.

its okay if you hurt my feelings now.

i used to it

people are just selfish about their own feelings

people can said don't like that ah but i the one who is going thru, not the people who say that.

why is it me have to understand people feelings but why can't they?

i sound so fuck up cos she have people to listen..when myself keep shutting my mouth to prevent people asking what is happening...

sad right :'(

crying badly now.

everything i tell him about my life.

but this i can't tell him

i don't want people to misunderstand the true story of what is happening..

most to most i told him what is happening at work.

i told him about friday thingy

he's give me advice.

i feel bliss to have him in my life..

at least i know someone willing to listen to what is happening in my life..

i really grateful to have him my life..

thank you so much 亲爱的!

i love the you care for me!

cute boy lil F

2011-05-24T16:00:00.002+08:00

guess i'm bored

don't want la text him

every time text confirm he bored ma

he's so funny

i saw his status at 10 plus

i was supposed to go out to library for meet up with musya and faizul

for IS module

then it was cancelled

then have to stay at home

anyway

back to my story

his status was like

"Mcm sial ar! Aper nasib Nie..."

i was like what happen sia.

something bad happen is it?

i text-ed him and asked are you okay?

his reply was like

"yes i'm okay..i just wake up late je"

i was like -.-"

ya allah nie budak ehk

i thought what happen seh

aiyo love making me worried

like fuck ah

haish

and somemore he still can say go back to sleep

i was wth

this boy ah

haix

klu tak kene debarment pun dah cukup nasib ah die nie

aiyo

still can asked go back to sleep

yeah its like 10am in the morning confirm my mom will nag at me cik abg oi..

only you

2011-05-24T05:50:00.001+08:00

omg!

he's so sweet!

why?

i told him i slipped and fell

he told me to be careful next time

aww~

so sweet~

haix

how i wish i can tell him?

i like f. like you.

haix

2011-05-24T05:44:00.002+08:00

its 5.44 am

wah!

i'm really sleep early ytd

i slept at 11plus

maybe too tired

i don't know

now widely awake due some nightmare

ha ha ha

i listening to music

but the songs really remind me of ex-boyfriend

well, its all in the past

tired

2011-05-22T00:21:00.002+08:00

tired.

both physical and mentally.

need a break.

maybe i must confession to him faster

so i have something load off my mind.

should i?

or maybe i too tired thinking what is happening to the people around me

esp..

sighing.

need to watch movie alone

maybe that's works

忏悔的心在中国

2011-05-21T00:22:00.002+08:00

当我第一次见到你，我真的不喜欢你。

但我们开始谈话，我想我们可以成为朋友。

我的关系结束之后，你开始和我聊天。

我不知道为什么，但我觉得我需要这个

谢谢你这么多

你对我的关怀和关注很多。

从那天起，我开始想念你。

我想我喜欢你

但我不认为你喜欢我

我听到的故事是关于你的女孩被骗。

但我不会骗你。

我不是物质女孩。

不是所有的女孩是物质。

不过，我就是喜欢你。

Dāng wǒ dì yīcì jiàn dào nǐ, wǒ zhēn de bù xǐhuan nǐ.

Dàn wǒmen kāishǐ tánhuà, wǒ xiǎng wǒmen kěyǐ chéngwéi péngyǒu.

Wǒ de guānxì jiéshù zhīhòu, nǐ kāishǐ hé wǒ liáotiān.

Wǒ bù zhīdào wèishéme, dàn wǒ juéde wǒ xūyào zhège

Xièxiè nǐ zhème duō

Nǐ duì wǒ de guānhuái hé guānzhù hěnduō.

Cóng nèitiān qǐ, wǒ kāishǐ xiǎngniàn nǐ.

Wǒ xiǎng wǒ xǐhuan nǐ

Dàn wǒ bù rènwéi nǐ xǐhuan wǒ

Wǒ tīng dào de gùshì shì guānyú nǐ de nǚhái bèi piàn.

Dàn wǒ bù huì piàn nǐ.

Wǒ bùshì wùzhí nǚhái.

Bùshì suǒyǒu de nǚhái shì wùzhí.

Bùguò, wǒ jiùshì xǐhuan nǐ.

heart's confee-sions

2011-05-19T09:52:00.002+08:00

wondering what will happen next..

i don't know if should tell _________

that i .... him

well i think that i should text him instead of telling him face to face cause i scared my tongue tie up when i want to talk him

thought of telling him

" hey, can i tell you something? i think i like someone..."

if he ask who?

oh fuck!

omg!

i can't believe this!

i was like hmmm

don't want to say

oh gosh!

well, i saw him ytd

didn't expected it

is it fate?

shocking though

hahahaha

sometimes, i really worried like hell for him

i don't know why

but its naturally come to me though

Friendship

2011-05-19T09:43:00.002+08:00

losing a friend is one thing i afraid of

especially good ones

and truthful

unlike......

hmmmmmmmm

who do you think?

well i don't wtf they think of me

i still have some other peoples who still supporting

anyway

it's good thing

they don't bother me liao

it's better that way

cos i don't bother em' too

even though some unpleasant things just happen

i just cleared the mess

i think it's good now

i think only ah

don't if it's still bad

anyway

i know i got part II

have not told yet

but thinking if i still want to blog it out?

true friends are hard to come by

true enough

scared

2011-05-18T08:20:00.002+08:00

i scared things won't turn out

i thinking of what am i supposed to tell _________

hey i kinda wanna to tell ya something

that i _______you

FML man

oops

sound so not me

hahahaha

he's good listener

a very good i think

even though i directly talking to him

but i text him 'almost' all the happenings of my life

even though his reply was like short

but sometimes it could long a bit

hahahaha

110th

2011-05-18T08:16:00.002+08:00

so fast it's 110th posts

this is how i feel towards to you

i feel ease when you reply my msg

eventhough you don't how comfort me

but you actually comforting me

just that you didn't realised it

apologised

2011-05-17T23:55:00.001+08:00

sms-ed him

but no reply

guess he's angry

i don't know

tell me you not angry then i will feel comfortable

my heart like wanna to die like that

pls forgive me

i didn't mean to say that

i didn't mean to say i don't know you

just joking with that

it's just mean to be a joke

don't make me stress pls..

haix

irritating me

2011-05-17T23:09:00.001+08:00

i realised something about me

i find myself nagging

wanna to know why?

cause i find myself keep asking someone a lot of question

but it's does not make him feel irritating

i asked him

am i nagging then he said not really..why?

then i said i kept asking him question but he kept answer my questions

then he said its okay.

he told me he don't talk much anyways

then i said i can see that

then i asked again

am i irritating?

then this question really took a long time for him to reply me

his reply make me feel like i want to cry

but at the same time sweet

don't tell you guys

hahahaha

however i feel sad too

and get irrits by someone

i'm not ready for any commitment

if you asked anyone inside my hearts

it could be a yes or no

its does not matter to you anyway

thanks for making me piss off

by grabbing my ciggy away

the ring that you gave me

i will keep it just memories

alone

2011-05-17T02:01:00.002+08:00

walked alone again just now

actually i could have continue walking from there to home

but i could not take it

took bus home from jp

i supposed could take about 1hr to reach home

but today took me more than 1hr

almost fainted just now

really want collapse whenever i stop at bus stop

my heart could not take it

it could stop anytime just now

it went breathless just now

it's okay

end of this month

everything will be say out

5566 - Fang Shou Yi Bo

2011-05-16T11:17:00.001+08:00

love this song suddenly

it's give me the strength of fighting all the devil at work and my life

quote from the songs lyric

" i need you blessing when i'm battling others"

"confident that i won't give up"

i don't care if the world a part, i will not lose.

anyway 5566 still handsome as they used to.

OMG!

confessing

2011-05-16T01:04:00.002+08:00

16 days more

or 15 days more?

should i?

i suddenly scared.

do i need to do that?

i heard that you always got cheating from girls

but i won't cos i know how hurtful it is

i won't waste ur money cos i'm not materialistic girl

if i want something, i can save it and buy it later when i have the money

falling deeply

confessions of a girl heart

is not easy

i will try

15 days to go

a story to be told

2011-05-14T07:57:00.002+08:00

i have a friend

i thought our friendship will last forever to eternity

however due circumstance and personality clash,

our friendship is destroy

people will say us crazy

cos one point time we are okay but another are not

when i just got to know her, i thought she can be trust ,kind , caring, and so on.

all the nice things

however sometime nice things does not stay long.

i used to make her cry

cos when i'm tired will tend to scold people

this will sound childish, but no choice my character is like that

everyone character is different

but this does not give way to her to do something surprise that i did not think that she will do

i quite dislike personality, attitude and character

her laziness at work make me dislike her more

well

that something that i supposed to say here about half a year ago.

i don't know what should i called her as

traitor?

backstabber?

two-facer?

how could a friend change into foe overnight

(to be continue)

comforting

2011-05-14T07:46:00.003+08:00

how come some guys don't know how to comfort girls?

anyway

nvm that

wtf ytd

some china woman make me piss off

supervisor should do things better than a staff

but this is worse

you want go back please top up the station

how come you can become supervisor

you suck up to their is it?

that's at work

yvonne find out i smoking

kena confiscated cigarette

oops

what can i do?

Told you i'm not ready commitment

why you don't understand?

yvonne said something that i really think

i'm not making_________

a replacement.

really,i won't.

cos i know myself

if i like that, long time do liaoz.

but i won't cos i'm not ready for another tiring relationship

esp when a guy don't know how to comfort

can consider very weird

100th post

2011-05-12T01:43:00.003+08:00

fuck man

how can a person blog so many in one day?

maybe i fucking stress

and no one to talk to.

today

to be exact just now

i did two mistakes

one its a grave mistake

the other one

i don't know

should i call small mistake or big mistake?

the grave mistake

i was stupidly indirectly helped hairil

which really pissed yvonne up

what can't just stfu

haix

the another mistake

this fucking rider

i think his name rahim

idk n idc

he kept asking me a lot of question

which irrits me somehow

ques no. 1

what ur age?

still can take it

ques no 2

what urs name?

i asked him to guess

hahaha

ques no 3

where u schooling?

i told him reluctantly

ngee ann poly

then he asked again

do you know__________

inside my heart was.....

wtf...

then i said softly no i don't him

fuck sia

what did i say that..

then hairil plk menyampok

ehk takkan ko tak knl sape yg bwk "ape type motor pun aku tak tau lah" ke skolah

then this rahim continue

questioning me

where do u live?

then i say buat pe nak tahu

then hairil plk masuk frame

ye la mana tahu ___________ bleh hantar ko balik

tak perlu ko pekik terlolong kat fb perlu taxi

then i really chase aft hairil

wtf sia

i was diam lah korang nie

haix

then i went to see yvonne

she still fucking piss off

haix

then i went out

hairil,rahim n ______ was outside

i went far away from em to light my ciggy

so that yvonne wont find out i smoke

but this fucker rahim kept calling me baby

fuck sia

you not fit to call me baby okay

then he saw me w ciggy in my mouth la

i was like shit

nvm ah

idc no more

then i turn one around b4 i went in YH

b4 i went in, i need to fucking pass em'

then rahim kept psst..

crazy guy

then i could not take it i went home alone

walking from YH to my home

tired sia

i'm always bitch i guess

2011-05-12T01:24:00.002+08:00

if i don't love you,

our relationship won't last that long la pandai.

if u think i'm that kind of girl,i'm sorry

i guess you don't know me well

you know how hard to please me

its fucking tired if you a relationship that never end argument

you can spout all your nonsense to your friends

you and your beloved sister same

never think before saying anything or do anything

well you always said i always want to win

but how many i sacrifice my happiness just to fit to your needs and wants

guess you didn't think maturely enough

if you think i'm the type of girl like those in geylang

i swear to god, you still don't know me aft our long relationship

damn it man

this guy is making me depress

why didn't bang into car just now?

jangan sembarangan ah!

2011-05-11T22:49:00.002+08:00

if you know who is it,

don't assume

cos ur assumption is wrong

the person that you think,

that you assume,

is only my colleague

he is too young

he's not my cup of tea

he is nice though

don't assume you know everything

don't ever think that thru fb

you can get to know the person

i will keep that person a secret

haix

don't understand why people like assume

they think they know everything biut too bad they don't

hahaha

anyway i'm not angry or hold any grudges

i just tell you

argh!

i still want another ride

smoker

2011-05-11T22:31:00.003+08:00

Funny right if a smoker can't stand others smoke

two stick at same time can make you dizzy

my thoughts

2011-05-11T17:41:00.003+08:00

it seem that i to be in my own world

i know is impossible

let me suppress this feeling of mine

let it fade to thin air

i don't want it to be one sided

it need two hands to clap

well

let it go

why its always me sacrifice my happiness for others?

anyway

thanks for that one ride

that one ride

i will remember forever

in fact i rmbr every single details of that day

i don't think you will read it right

a similar guy?

2011-05-10T14:08:00.002+08:00

suddenly this thoughts come to my mind

is there any guy that similar to faisal?

okay.

some people will wonder who faisal?

what make me suddenly talked about him?

well let me reveal the story

well this story is not matter to me

cos it just a history

part of my past

faisal is not a perfect guy

not the awesome guy

but his heart

really touch

he is fucking nice eventhough sometime his non predictable temper scared me away

he sat beside me during my N level year

i'm so fucking childish lor during that part of time

i was like how many time want to break up friendship him.

i know,it's like stupid to do

hahahah

i hold my feelings for 1 year plus

b4 i move on to be with my ex boyfriend

it's hard for me to forget faisal

but eventually i did

but the memories between us

still alive in my mind

however the feelings for him

i guess it disappear into thin air

when i saw my ex boyfriend's blog post

i was wondering

is there any another nice guys like faisal?

no.

no one is similar to faisal

let him be a memory in my heart

if i get to meet another guy like faisal but it won't be the same

every human beings is not same

everyone have their own personality and attitude

single?

2011-05-10T10:37:00.002+08:00

why?

for how many times it happen to me?

single again?

thank you for understanding

now you understand why i don't want to say a word

cos i know myself

my personality

my attitude

everything

and my heart

my wants

my desire

the happiness i want

i know myself truly

i can scold people without any thinking

i can confront with my harsh words

but i don't to do that anymore

why?

is it easy for me to stfu the people who babbling nonsense

well i guess i changed a lot.

i guess i stronger in someway now

except i still cmi

when people scold me

i will still take into my heart and cry

well, here msg to you from,

hey, thank you for understanding and everything

i appreciate that alot

i know i been a bitch all this while

but you still care for this bitch

i'm sorry

i'm not ready for anything yet

i just want to enjoy my life now

i want to study hard

i'm sorry if i hurt you in some way

i'm sorry i got criticize your sister in some way

however, i have to move on

i just want pursue my own happiness

i know its like very that i want to forget you

but don't get it wrong

it seem hard to erase a person in my heart

to be truthful

anyway all the best to find your happiness

if you happen to see me, just say hi!

i won't run away

okay that's all i got to say

stop!

2011-05-10T01:13:00.003+08:00

stop pressurize me

unless you want me to do something stupid...

i need my time to be alone

need the spaces to alone..

if you let me have some time to think

i can have clearer mind of what i want

i begging you people

few that make things that make me think is what your beloved sister have said

from the start to the very end,do i even not appreciate for you did for our relationship?

if i don't appreciate ur love n what have done for? then what for we last this long?

in a relationship, when a couple broke up,its not only one party is being hurt..

why must i changed for better?

don't you see how much i changed?

what nonsensical behavior of mine?

now you understand why i need to think this long?

i know i sound like "wtf,bitch"

but this is the fact

people don't understand what the shits we going thru

they only know how to open their fucking mouth and babbling nonsense

if that someone don't know how to stop babbling

don't blame if things turn out bad

rmbr this,

i have not forget and forgiven

for that incident

people may look genuine but their heart damn fucking black

hati busuk

not about ranting or complaint!

2011-05-09T03:13:00.002+08:00

not about ranting or complaint!

it's about how people treat you!

i was so shocked to hear that ytd

WTF!

i felt guilty didn't managed celebrate mother's day ytd with my mom

since i have to 12-11pm

i know everyone who work ytd didn't have chance to celebrate it

but this not the way to repay my kindness to help you guys working

just sid to me,sakilah pls smile okay.

i will listen

don't need to threat me till want to ask me to go home ah

too much kindness that i showed does not appreciated

people keep climbing up my head

take me as grant

from now onward

no more nice lady

regret

2011-05-08T09:52:00.001+08:00

everyone regret when we did a mistakes

but why when we did it, we never think about consequences

this is what i called life

do things without thinking

Feelings

2011-05-08T02:56:00.002+08:00

don't understand what am i feeling right now?

maybe

it's because my heart

is empty

when my heart is empty, when a person show me some concern.

my heart feel full of happiness.

however,when concern show to me short period of time

my heart return to back to empty

maybe it's just one sided..

words of wisdom

2011-05-07T04:12:00.003+08:00

if we meant to be together, we will be together.
we cannot force the other party to be with you.

i guess i need some space to think

if i'm done thinking

hopefully the answer won't hurt anyone

don't think you know all

2011-05-06T12:11:00.002+08:00

you can say everything you want say

but i tell you this, you don't live my life

you don't understand the hardship of my life

people's personality is nuture by condition of life

don't insult other people cos you are insulting god who created us

who can say whatever you want

cos i cant be bother by you

anyway,i won't f***ing forget what you did to me

just because i dont confront, doesn't mean i forgive you

manusia bertopeng syaitan

jgn act good2 okay

whoever reading this, if you get angry with post, i guess you knew what you did to me..

traitor! i hate traitor!

ku disini-Fauziah latiff

2011-05-06T03:49:00.003+08:00

actually songs sometimes can be similar to people's life

this is one of my favorite

Ku di sini meratapi kasih hilang pergi
Mungkinkah kembali
Ku tak pasti hingga Kini
Meratapi kasih dukaku di hati

Ku mengerti pengorbanan ini
Ku tempuhi dengan rela hati
Walau perit akan ku lalui
Kerna kasih bukan kerana membenci

Andai beginikah penghinaan
Kan ku titip kesabaran
Dari segala dugaan

Oh Tuhan
Kau dengarkanlah rayuan
Cintaku yang berpanjangan tak kesampaian
Yang ku dambakan tiada haluan
Yang berpanjangan tak kesampaian
Yang ku dambakan tiada haluan

Ku di sini melewati hari penuh duri
Ku masih di sini

i'm sorry i can't translate this

but it is very meaningful to me

my answer to you

2011-05-06T02:21:00.003+08:00

why i kept my thought from others?

i'm a very f***ing secretive person.

i don't want hurt people that i love with my selfish thought

but it hurt that a person didn't kept their promise to me.

i trying my f***ing best not say it out.

as i don't wish to have another argument and quarreling

but end up, arguing.

then what's e point of me trying my f***ing not say out my selfish thought

if say out,what does it show me as a person?

to me, i don't asked people to buy me things.

cos i don't want to trouble people with my wants.

i trying to suppress my emotional right now

i don't want to keep crying whenever i think about the break up and etc

i just want to be happy

i know he still care for me

me?

i don't know

i don't to be depress till i..

well, do stupid stuff..

i just need someone who cheer me up..

but who?

who is willingly to be there for me?

i have no answer

for me to fall other guys right now..

i don't have the clear mind of it yet

maybe i'm just not ready.

people will think i fake it up

but yeah

i'm really not ready

i may be single

BUT

there's but in my sentence

NOT AVAILABLE

AND

NOT READY MINGLE

the mingle part sound a bit fake.

cos in my life, i still have guys friend that have to talk to.

i mean like school stuff

i can't possible say

hey i hate guys cos of ex boyfriend

no lah i won't do that cos i don't hate guys

okay that's crap.

hahahaha

anyway,

i have say it all out

PS i hope you understand

and thanks for ur care n concern

don't worry so much

i will take care of myself

does that assure you enough?

2011-05-02T00:31:00.000+08:00

everything has ended just like that

no love

no more

school re-open!

2011-04-20T16:36:00.002+08:00

school re-open!

first day?

well, a bit boring.

lesson start at 9 and ended 6.

oh gosh.

i hate Monday from now on.

school was pretty alright.

i joined malay dance, i don't remember what the group called.

i will be dancing.

a dream that will come true.

work?

this week working 5 days.

next week also 5 days.

hopefully can cope.

argh!

hopefully this happen for this week and next week.

okay done talking.

hee hee

care and concern

2011-04-15T01:26:00.002+08:00

Does your care and concern gone for me?

is there any care left for me?

it is hurt when a person you love,doesn't show you care and concern anymore!

is like freaking hurt in my heart!

piercing thru my heart!

untitled

2011-04-14T13:46:00.002+08:00

From first day that i born to this world,my life was not freaking easy. I didn't have good life from young. When i was young, at certain age, i'm kind of different person. i don't have a lots of friend due my attitude and personality. All the people who around me totally disgusted with my attitude and personality. when i think back, i felt like a fool at that moment. so i don't have much a good childhood.

I don't have nice, comfortable room to myself back then when my family was located in Taman Jurong. Now i have it but i always not at home. Left my room empty almost everyday.

Crush?Boyfriend?Admirers?Special guys friend?

Destiny?Love?Relationship?

When i young, i was freaking stupid. If I like a person, i was like tell people,

"Hey, you know what? i kinda have crush on that guy, i'm really do like him. would you mind do me a favor not to tell anyone?"

yeah, of they would shut the f up right?

So, end up being bastard by the people i told.

dumb right.

well primary school and early stage of secondary school's life.

the past.

now i in better stage of keep secret.

If anyone got tell me their secret, i was yeah, i will keep it as secret, however in a minute time i forgot all about it.

i don't remember any in fact.

ha ha ha ha!

isn't that funny?

OMG!

Now,i know how to keep my shut up about secret but yeah, i still have to tell my boyfriend if i got any problem, he will get mad if i kept it as a secret.

And also i better at keeping others' secret due to my short term memory. i forget all about it the next minute.

i'm way better person now.

happier.

cheerful.

not that kind of cranky bitch.

But i still that person who talk loud,i wish i can tone my voice down a bit.

And And And also that Inconstant straightforward talking.

sometime i just blunt out what i want to say.

and it could be hurtful sometimes!

*sigh*

ha ha ha ha!

I miss you man!

If you know how i feel right now!

yeah!

okay, enough crapping around.

just blogging for no reason.

title was untitled because it was not really a post, just random post however true confession of my heart!

can you hear my heart confessing something to you?

♥ syakilah

formspring.me

2011-04-11T12:46:00.001+08:00

spill ya' thinking! http://formspring.me/lilmissylove

twice

2011-04-03T01:47:00.002+08:00

don't know what wrong with me today.

freaking sad ah.

haish. i cried twice. wtf.

I just don't get it why the guest like to make trouble for us who are serving em'.

can they just stfu and give us some understanding?

can they just don't make any trouble for us?

what to do.

work is always like that.

work never been as easy as we thought.

feel like give up working.

maybe 3-4 years time.

hmmm.

see what happen next.

bullshit type of ppl

2011-04-02T01:09:00.002+08:00

i hate people who like to advantage of people's kindness

i hate people who bossy

i hate people, when i talk nicely to em', they raised their voice to me.

if you think you dislike what i hate

i'm sorry

you can't change me to love it

night people!

story to be told

2011-03-30T00:28:00.002+08:00

If prophet Muhammad S.A.W can forgive his people,

why can't we?

kalau Nabi Muhammad S.A.W boleh maaf umatnye,

kenape kite tak boleh?

It's a sin if a person didn't forgive a person's wrongdoing after three days of wrongdoing have done.

berdosa lah sekirenye seseorang tu tidak memaafkan seorang insan telah lakukan kesalahan setelah tiga hari berlaku kesalahan itu.

mmg aku tak kuat imam, tak kuat agama.

tapi dosa aku untuk tidak memaafkan seseorang insan

tapi aku..

masih tak tau sama ada aku boleh maafkan die..

kisah lama akan diungkit

Friends

2011-03-30T00:06:00.002+08:00

Friend come and go

How many of em' willing to stay by yourself and give their support?

Have you think about this?

In this world there are lil' true friends, sometimes it could be only one

but many fake friends.

sometime, they just freaking selfish

sometime, they freaking nice

in this world, we can't really trust people

cont'

Spin - Dimana Janji Mu Dulu

2011-03-20T09:49:00.000+08:00

哀

2011-03-20T09:29:00.001+08:00

我爱你

in this world

you born alone

and you will die alone

NO MOOD WEEK

2011-03-06T23:24:00.003+08:00

been cry over money issue

i feel the poorest person on earth

i dislike borrowing from people money

cos the troublesome of return the money

is like heart pain

i can only sigh and keep thinking about money

this can make me a little too depress

exam over!

holiday already!

happy!

however sad due to money

AND

need babysitter my nephew

what the hell ah

need to wake up so early

then no money given

at least 10 buck

i will appreciate it

i know people will say your brother's child also ask for money

like i said money make the world go around

i'm really need money la

now i busy with my blog shop

i been ironing clothes

taking picture

uploading a few

very tired you know

i'm alone doing this business

cos i don't know who can help me

see this

i edited it

nice?

i love him so much

till death apart us

Thank god!

2011-02-18T23:12:00.003+08:00

i'm so happy and grateful that i pass both my retest

and got 79% for my TEC project

now

need to study hard for my exam!

bb and tc

Done!

2011-02-17T15:08:00.002+08:00

so done with it!

happy mode now

however

later need to go work

then aft work

my bro's house

sian!

never mind

in happy mode

due to

project done and submitted

bb and tc

loves

2011-02-17T08:18:00.002+08:00

tired

one word describe how my physical and mental condition

oh gosh

i wished my bro come home from reservist tonight

i'm so damn FUCKING tired!

need to sleep now!

So Done!

2011-02-14T20:36:00.002+08:00

IDS IP

going to be done soon

after i update my blog!

anyway happy valentine day

eventhough i didn't celebrate it!

2011-02-14T08:20:00.002+08:00

tolerate and tolerate

lead me to breakdown

sedihkan?

when a person who always put fierce and strong face everyday,

couldn't take any scolding or pressure others

anyway

the people also ccb ma

what to do..

i can only sigh

Awesome Day with love

2011-02-12T23:35:00.003+08:00

Just go with it

totally awesome

i lovin it

every single minute,the movie made me laughed so hard

good movie

at a random pick

Have a lots of fun with my beloved boyfriend

i been the whole day eating

oh yah manage to catch soft toys with UFO catcher

small one

it's ok dear!

no matter what is the size of the bear

i still love you

Assignment N Assignment

2011-02-10T13:00:00.002+08:00

assignment aft assignment

oh gosh

when is the end of this?

well,IP halfway

must finish up 3/4 of it by this sun

no time already

gosh

hai yo

wish me luck ppl