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Sometimes I cry so hard
So sick and tired of all the hurts
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Syakilah211192who I am, it's me to judge who i am. — Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
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Wednesday, July 27, 2011
sincerity so many things in my mind. i still thinking whether i should give back stuff that should not mine and those things that have some past i think i should anyway i should settle something since fasting month coming i don't want to hold more sin of not settle the thing anyway been re-blog more that update status and my blog i addicted to it the more i told not to miss you, i miss you even more Labels: past Tuesday, July 26, 2011
a talk about feelings I used to be a person who fall people easy over a lil kindness not anymore i fell for a guy about two or three months ago i confessed to him even though i knew his heart was hurt by girls his heart sealed, no one can open it to me, i understand his hurt what he went thru, maybe i have already gone thru too even though in different circumstances however, it been almost a month, i didn't text him maybe i too busy with other things whatever i wanted to text, i have this feeling "why you bother about this guy? have a life babe!" i don't know why. but i just care for him but slowly, gradually i losing the feeling i feel, like as if it okay, of not loving a guy. but its good that i been like very "guai" not to fall for others when i alr confessed maybe its just crush who's know anyway. actually have something else in mind this things bother me so much aku tak benci kau tapi aku tak suke kau kau telah hancurkan jiwa dan raguku! you have destroy every single soul of mine! perasaan dan hati aku kau telah main dan hancurkan segalanya! okay that's was so drama. hee~ i'm not living in the past. hopefully i don't. because i don't want to. i have moved on, even though its a struggle. i will make thou. Labels: curiosity Saturday, July 23, 2011
sad moment my sis in law really making me cry not because of her bullying me or whatsoever her blog posts make me cried even worst i miss my brother very much other people won't understand what i going through now "God pls make strong. i don't want to be like this everyday. give me strength to live this life. give me some hope that everything going to be fine." Labels: prays Friday, July 22, 2011
random it's been a while it been hectic weeks project problem work been home to home been stressful period for me well things been worst since MAY this year one after another three months already no luck no beam of happiness it's okay i'm strong no one know what go thru my mind and heart last Monday fell sick after so many months then came Wednesday something bad happened yeah i don't know how much longer i can take this things going at least no more disturbing from someone guess that someone find other people to disturb liao i don't want to live in the past sometimes i miss being loved by someone but sometimes it's better this way maybe i should single for a life time i don't know Labels: rantings alone Saturday, July 16, 2011
truth are to be hurt my mom found about the thing she was like so sad and upset about me and sis in law kept her in the dark but both of us have no choice the truth hurt, Umi. thanks to Yvonne give me advised thru this hard time i still dwell on it. cos i know it not easy for me to just let news pass by me sigh anyway ytd have fun went to wisma fixed spiro yeah spiro spoilt again ishh how many times does this spiro want to be spoilt? then went walk2 arnd orchard then zhaolong called me asking whether i eat alr..of course no lor we met up a while then we at food opera or smtg don't remember la then waited for HL and ANIP aft zhao long and his friend went off awhile waiting went to somerset walk2 then met em' ate KFC i only ate whipped potato then walked to cineleisure anip bought anklet for us awwwww~ so sweet hope it bless our friendship till end of our life then went somewhr up the building.. which have f nice scenery it would make good plc for me to emo don't go ECP le just go there can liao hahahaha i done :) Labels: friends Thursday, July 14, 2011
bad news no wonder i have this bad feelings since morning. this piece of news really hit me 8 weeks = 2 months wtf! i don't know what am i going to do it's like so sudden the person who should have the worst feelings should be my sis in law i'm really pitied her i don't know what to tell to my mom 2 months isn't short some more fasting month coming then hari raya omg i don't know how am i going to survive i regretted i didn't bought the chocolate melts for him i really regret "along, no matter what, i will still keep my promise to you. i will take care of umi. i will study hard. along don't worry about us okay." i can't stop thinking of it. i don't want cried about it. give me strength make me strong please begging you :( Sunday, July 10, 2011
sick argh!!!! freaking hate being sick... immune system freaking down now!!! Thursday, July 7, 2011
uss was okay :) so far so good btwn me and her guess so. HL don't worry you still have me. ytd? outing? okay la. i was like a drunkard as usual hahahaha it's been my trademark ma let's get it straight every human do have their mistakes every one no perfect but you don't have the right to judge a person cause they know em'selves better than you i know people will ask me whether i alright or not well, i don't like to malign people and vice versa you have something to say, tell straight to face i used to say to people face but it lead to so much troubled i don't mind if you say to my face but i knew you won't mind to i speak my mind cause i know my words are f*cking harsh and can hurt anyone's feelings well i don't like people who only listen to one sided story then assume that they knew every single things i don't f*cking care anymore i will be alright Monday, July 4, 2011
say hello to goodbye being single isn't that bad i didn't say being in relationship bad it's just need chemistry personality does play a part trust is the most important thing promises are meant to kept, not be broken hmmmm that's what i learnt in my past relationship there's a lot actually well.. me? in relationship again? tell you frankly a month ago told a guy that i like him liking a person is not the same as loving that person i just like him, but i don't love why? maybe...cause...i afraid to fall in love again?? or...i afraid of falling in love with wrong guy again?? or...i afraid of getting hurt??? or...i afraid of history being repeated again??? say hello to goodbye sang shontelle it's been my all time fav. song marked the date of 1st may 2011 Hey there stranger, how you been Feels like I'm standing on the outside looking in At the mess we left behind And it's a long way to fall I gave you everything I had (i did) I gave it all And then my heart was on the line I can't hate you Any longer I know I'm going to miss you ( may be a lil) I'll forget it and let it go. Say hello to goodbye, cause it's gone forever No more try, you and I Not now, not ever And I'll get by without you I'm not going back again I'm not going to lie to you Cause, that was there and only then. ( it's true, i'm not going back to you. twice, it's enough,and i don't deserve) Say hello to goodbye Say hello... And this is how it has to be Cause it's a deadly combination, you and me You know it's undeniable Even though we tried it all We brought the worst out in each other I recall We can't act it anymore What doesn't kill you It makes you stronger And though I'm going to miss you I'll forget it and let you go Say hello to good-bye It's gone forever No more try, you and I Not now, not ever And I'll get by without you I'm not going back again I'm not going to lie to you Cause, that was there and only then. Say hello to goodbye Say hello... And even though the tears will dry I can't completely disconnect Couldn't make the compromise Didn't have a safety net Say hello to goodbye Heeey ya ya Say hello, goodbye byezzzzzzzzzz zai jian Labels: say hello to goodbye Friday, July 1, 2011
woooohoooooooooo~ let's start with something not really interesting hmm these days when doing closing we would like have four man on the floor to do closing we, like struggling to move our body, legs and hands to do work but wednesday did dishwasher i was like slow and steady do my dishwasher hahahahaha XD did my enrollment for my license a lil blur well, i will be good after some browse thru the booklet they give me felt excited i booked my first lesson on 19th july i can't wait!!! weeeee~ well went to al-azhar with ma'am fiona, sir Dan, Atiqah K. and of course my dear HL ate till full it's nice days my nice off days tml will another day tml will be a lil secretive when i free i update about tml ta.ta Labels: fun days Bruno Mars - Grenade [Official Music Video] Easy come, easy go That's just how you live, oh Take, take, take it all, But you never give Should of known you was trouble from the first kiss, Why were they open? Gave you all I had And you tossed it in the trash You tossed it in the trash, you did To give me all your love is all I ever asked, Cause what you don't understand is I’d catch a grenade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah) Throw my hand on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah) I’d jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah , yeah) You know I'd do anything for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah) Oh, oh I would go through all this pain, Take a bullet straight through my brain, Yes, I would die for ya baby; But you won't do the same No, no, no, no Black, black, black and blue beat me till I'm numb Tell the devil I said “hey” when you get back to where you're from Mad man, bad man, That's just what you are, yeah, You’ll smile in my face then rip the breaks out my car Gave you all I had And you tossed it in the trash You tossed it in the trash, yes you did To give me all your love is all I ever asked Cause what you don't understand is I’d catch a grenade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah) Throw my hand on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah) I’d jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah , yeah) You know I'd do anything for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah) Oh, oh I would go through all this pain, Take a bullet straight through my brain, Yes, I would die for ya baby; But you won't do the same If my body was on fire, ooh You’ d watch me burn down in flames You said you loved me you're a liar Cause you never, ever, ever did baby... But darling I’ll still catch a grenade for ya Throw my hand on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah) I’d jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah , yeah) You know I'd do anything for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah) Oh, oh I would go through all this pain, Take a bullet straight through my brain, Yes, I would die for ya baby; But you won't do the same. No, you won’t do the same, You wouldn’t do the same, Ooh, you’ll never do the same, No, no, no, no Sekali Lagi - Spoon 01/5/2011 01/7/2011 exact 2 months how am i feeling? truly very empty after that date everything slowly every single thing in my life that i been grasping on slowly i lose it from relationship to precious friendship slowly break into pieces people thought i happier now they just assuming but don't know the truth even though things happen hurt me a lot i just slow let it go without any hatred without any revenge i just hope that let my life disappear from your life just forget me don't have any vengeance in heart don't bear any grudges forget every single things as i don't worth anything care, concern or sympathy from anyone |
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When i done crying,you're gone
Gone far away from this world |
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